Is Time Real?
15 - 19
Dec.
Erroneously shown as a
Nov
diary entry previously. Ian
We could give a respectable account of our year
by simply posting a diary of all of our animal sightings. Last Thursday evening
we went to see penguins. While we were waiting for the light to fail we had
dinner at a restaurant that was recommended to us at the ugly coastal town of
Ulverstone. Reinforcing our sense that we've stepped back in time, it was a
meal served from a kitchen that had no apparent fear of being shamed by the
verdict of discriminating dining guides: Paula's steak pie, for example,
contained a piece of solid plastic; my Asian spicy seafood broth was no laksa
and came with a side of limp broccoli and carrots, served in a metal
dish.Someone here asked me whether
Tasmania didn't remind me of England and I replied, Yes, but of England from
twenty years ago. Even as the words left my lips I knew that I was
way
off: Tasmania has nothing to do with England in the Eighties but rather of an
England I never knew from 50 or 100 years ago. To come to Tasmania is to step
into a bucolic fantasy. There are very few people and even fewer cars. In
England I've often looked at an old house and thought how lovely it must have
been when it was built and the road from which I'm viewing it didn't have
hundreds of people like me speeding along it in our cars. In Tasmania you see
these idyllic houses everywhere: there has been no explosion of people and
traffic, and it wouldn't occur to anyone to cite a house anywhere other than
along one of the normal roads: there aren't yet roads for travel and separate
residential lanes for suburban homes. If you live on the main route from, say,
Paradise to Sheffield you stand more chance of seeing an echidna on the road
than a lorry.Driving along I have
tuned into the local radio a couple of times. The first time the DJ, an
Irishman called Dave, was encouraging a very drunk caller to pile one indecent
slander (I presume) upon another regarding what the two of them had got up to
one drunken night in the past. The exchange was underway when I started my
journey and was still going strong at the end of it. The next time I tuned in
we were all in the car together; when I turned on the radio the same DJ was
taking calls and I was a little apprehensive about suitability for the girls.
On the first call Dave tried to chat up the caller and then flirted with her
mother after she handed over the phone. And he asked the next caller for a date
too, although she replied that her boyfriend was with her and that she'd only
called in because she was bored. As I listened to all of this the essential key
of truth struck: they all know each
other!After our dinner in Ulverstone
the girls played for a while on the swings in the small town of Penguin; for
surreal effect a giant Penguin made from some sort of concrete compound stood
next to the park looking out over the shops. When the gloaming set in we drove
out to a place we'd read about near Penguin where you're guided around the
coastline to see the fairy penguins swim in from the sea. This was another
Tasmanian tourist experience. We'd tried to phone ahead to book but no one
answered and there was no ansaphone. Somehow we determined where the place was,
but drove past it twice before we found it; even when we had directions to
precisely where it was and we were right by it on the road it was not easy to
find the track that we needed. And a Private Property sign warned us away.
Even when we arrived at the house from which the tours were run all we found was
an unpromising locked garage door. Later the guy who ran the place complained
that despite giving information to the local Tourist Office he wasn't getting
much custom. Which is a shame. On
the night that we went there was one other family of four who, with us, made up
the party. They were Aussies from Brisbane who had come over to Tasmania with
the intention of "doing" it in the single week that he could get off work.
As the last light of the evening faded
the old guy who ran the place led us down to the beach. We sat on makeshift
wooden benches and waited and then watched as the little penguins swam from the
sea, hopped onto the rocks and then swam up to the beach and waddled up to their
nests. They're very cute. As they emerge from the sea they only look about 20
cm tall, but in reality they're probably a foot or so in height. They proceeded
comically, gathering behind intermediate rocks and then rushing along in groups
of around half a dozen. They seemed not to mind as the guy picked them out with
a powerful red spotlight. We sat and watched for around 40 minutes and then he
led us around their nesting grounds up to his house, which is octagonal with
floor-to-ceiling picture windows looking panoramically out over the shore.
Penguins were nesting right up to the house and even under the
porch.There's a clearing of lawn close
to the front of the house, which is apparently completely fringed with penguins
most years. This year we had to look for individuals, though they were not very
hard to find, especially since they squawk so loudly. The relative dearth of
penguins this year was ascribed to the bad weather: apparently the heavy showers
that have attended us most days are usually over well before now. The guy was
not at all chatty but had answers to all of our questions, and I came to find
him likeable: he embodied all that appeals to me in the anti-Disney tone of the
place, and of Tasmania at large. We were more than happy to give him the few
quid that he charged and Paula took some of his fliers and gave them to John to
put in the rack at Silver Ridge.You
may recall from an earlier blog that we saw a Tasmanian devil on a beach eating
a wombat. People here tell us that we were lucky, and that few Tasmanians see
devils in the wild. A few nights later we plugged the TV back in and saw on the
local news that several whales had flopped out and stranded themselves on the
very same beach; we thought about getting in the car and driving along, but it
somehow seemed in poor taste. It reminded me, actually, of many years ago when
the first news of the Handsworth riots came through and one of my friends picked
me up and drove me as close to the scene as he could negotiate through the
police cordons. They've had race riots in Sydney this week, and I've been
relieved to hear that pretty much everyone (including the chap here at the
filling station) is appalled by them. On the news the premier of New South
Wales launched into a grandiloquent statement that crescendoed with "We will not
have our reputation damaged..." and ended in good Aussie style, "... by these
ratbags". More power to him.It wasn't
only the whales that we missed. We've seen many echidnas and in our last couple
of days in Tassie we realised that we had a good shot at getting a sighting in
the wild of the world's only other monotreme (being a mammal that lays eggs):
the platypus. We read about a promising place over on the north coast and drove
over there. While the rain hammered down once more we enjoyed the mixed
pleasures of a pre-war-style tea room: decorated with any amount of frills and
soft furnishings, we had nice freshly-baked scones served with home-made jam,
and inedible home-made lemon slice. We were the only people there but
nonetheless my sense was that the old dear lead us away from what she felt were
the best seats. When the rain stopped we walked around the "English-style"
gardens (complete with quaint music and gnomes arranged outside a little Wendy
house); as Paula led the way out the lady held me back and insisted that we pay
her directly, seemingly not trusting us to leave our £4 in the honesty box
outside.The river bank that we visited
to hunt for platypuses was beautiful. A brown river flowed through woodland,
with reed beds in the shallows and sedge banks. There was plenty of bird life
there and it was a delightful place to pass an idle hour. But we didn't see any
platypuses. The next evening we tried a river bank closer to home where we'd
been tipped off that we might catch a sighting in the early evening. Shortly
after we arrived we met another family of four who had come down with their
fishing rods after trout. At times over the past fortnight, and this was
another of them, I've felt as if I've fallen asleep and awoken as a minor
character in Swallows and
Amazons. The family confirmed that they see
platypuses there quite frequently, but this was not one of those lucky nights.
But we've seen far more pademelons, Bennett's wallabies, wombats, possums and
kookaburras than you'd ever imagine (not to mention the dozens of fairy
penguins), and we're pleased with that.
We've also seized our nature
opportunities at the retreat. Heidi, Zoe and I had one more visit to the
possum station the other night, just alone with John this time, and the girls
were pleased to have a final chance to feed slices of apple to Cheeky and her
child (gender unknown), Bob. And Zoe and I had a short (one hour) walk through
the rain forest on the edge of the property. This threatened to offer more
nature contact than we wanted. The paths was more conceptual than physical and
we were frequently pushing under, over and through trees that grew across what
we believed to be the route alongside a creek. Trees and bushes brushed against
us everywhere and at one spot I walked full face into one spider web that
covered my face; in Aus you have to remember to be worried about these things.
I was actually more concerned about snakes since the rotting logs we frequently
had to clamber over and the damp, close woodland seemed like text-book resting
places for the three lethal indigenous
species.Our most interesting
encounter, fortunately, was with the trees. Apart from the sheer size of some
of them, especially some of the fallen trunks, they have intrinsic interest.
The stringy-bark tree, for example, has the noteworthy adaptive strategy of
shedding its bark that catches alight easily, while the trunks are exceptionally
resistant to fire, enabling them to survive and prosper as the surrounding land
is burned away.On Saturday we left
Silver Ridge and motored down to Port Arthur, which is on the other side of the
island, near to Hobart. Port Arthur is famous for its penal settlement, which
was active from 1830 to 1877. Convicts who had been transported from England
and then re-offended in the colony were sent here, and I'd read about it in
English
Passengers. It's one of the heaviest tourists
spots in Tasmania and as a busy tourist destination it's very well done. For
thirty-odd quid the four of us got a boat tour round the harbour, an explanatory
walking tour of the site and a ghost tour at night. More than anything, it's a
very pleasant place just to mill around. In conjunction with a night at the
lodge next door, which had just been refurbished and was very un-Tasmanian in
its understated chic decor, a ticket to Port Arthur is a great way to pass the
two days that the ticket price covers. I'm not so sure about the ghost tour,
though. We felt that it may have been better if they'd used the frisson of the
night to spice up a life-of-a-prisoner tour: informative though it was, Paula
and the girls seemed to get the impression that a stretch on Port Arthur was no
worse than an unrequested sabbatical at Butlins. The ghost tour lasted 90
minutes; three times the guide made loud and sudden noises to set pulses racing.
I admired the guide in the same way that I admire a good preacher - to be able
to turn up with such regularity and give a sincere show of deep emotion and
conviction is an impressive ability. She even managed to convey that it was
unusual not to see a ghost, and that we were unlucky. But objectively it was
lame - at one point she even tried to persuade us that it was spooky that only
one of the windows in a particular Victorian frontage rattled ("I've even put
card in the frame and it
still
rattles!").She seemed to working a
tough crowd and so when she asked for a hardened sceptic I volunteered and got
to be the rear lantern-bearer. Paula noted the irony that I was presumably one
of the few people present to have recently seen a
ghost.
This morning we returned to Hobart and
flew back to Melbourne to stay once more with Nat and Brett, which by now feels
like coming home. Flying to Melbourne from Tassie is (like spending a year with
the girls but in a more immediate way) a form of time travel. Tasmania reminded
me of the film Bhaji on the
Beach in which a group of ageing Indian women
are castigated by their younger British-born family for being locked in the
past: by moving to England they locked themselves within the India of their
youth and became blind to how India itself moved on. I
like
Tasmania and guess that our next trip to Aus will go something like England
-> Melbourne (4 days) -> Tasmania (10 days) -> Sydney (3 days) ->
England, scaled for the time
available.While there I finished
What we Believe but cannot
Prove. A couple of the writers assert that
over the past three decades kids in America have become more intelligent but
less socially and emotionally able, and less happy. They ascribe the bad side
of this to video games and so forth; I wonder if it isn't more directly a
consequence of population explosion and the compression of people in towns and
countries. This is testable (come to Tassie) and I'd be interested to see where
the facts point. Another writer in the same book, perhaps inspired by a stay
here, argued that time is an illusion or an approximation, a rhetorical device
perhaps, and that someday physics will have a better description of the world in
which time doesn't feature. Sounds like the lament of a man who misses a lot of
trains.I've been enjoying bursting
through so many unproven ideas in this book. One, which I find shockingly
logical, is by an physicist who argues that (1) the universe is finite in age;
(2) there are good grounds for believing that the universe is infinite in size;
(3) the last point implies that there are infinitely many regions having the
(finite) size of the observable universe; (4) quantum physics (presumably as
some consequence of discretization that I don't understand) implies that each
such region can, over the finite life of the universe, have only finitely many
"histories"; (5) when you stick the last two points together, every history must
play out somewhere. So, the author concludes, if you didn't like the last
election don't worry because in a different region of the universe the other
side won. You should know that some of the brightest people in the world take
these ideas seriously. It's been a couple of decades since I studied quantum
mechanics and relativity at university and I find myself unable to see how the
universe started with the big bang and can be finite in age yet infinite in
size: of the four cells in the infinite/finite x age/size quadrant this seems
like the only one that
must
be impossible - when/how could spatial infinity arise? If it makes sense to you
let me know. Expect more on this in
future.Having finished that book I'm
moving on to the comfort of a book that I'm confident will repeat views that I
already hold -
Heresies
by John Gray. At the airport I also
picked up New
Scientist, and learned that there is now a
computer program that can quite accurately predict the box office take of movies
from nine measurable input parameters. What struck me about these was that none
of them captured plot, characterisation, directorial skill, acting performance
or cinematography. Expect more on this,
too.I'm going to finish by wishing you
all a Happy Christmas since I don't know when I'll next post and when you'll
next sign on. In the USA it seems to be considered culturally insensitive to
wish people Merry Christmas at Christmas time. I find this hard to accept for
two contradictory reasons: first, it seems wrong to me that a particular
religious group is not free to celebrate its important festivals, given that
they're no threat to others; second, Christmas is and always has been a
pagan
festival open to those of any faith or none. Even reading the recent rantings
of the religious right in the US, with their Just Say Christmas wrist bands,
hasn't changed my view on this. Typically and tiresomely, they see this as a
"War" on Christmas, and war is something that they're peculiarly able to ferret
out anywhere and don't seem able to get enough of. I read that the
Happy
Holidays denial of Christmas, this being
America, was commercially inspired, with large stores fearing that causing
offence to non-Christian shoppers may damage sales. To me this reticence to say
the C word is pragmatism or political correctness gone mad - although, quoting
What we
Believe... once more, I do accept that the
attitudes of a reasonable person might be different in a country in which 22% of
the population are
certain
that Jesus will return to judge the living and the dead within the next 50 years
and a further 22% believe it to be highly
likely.From Australia, and in spirit
from the UK, where we're not so burdened by believing our beliefs: Merry
Christmas!! Ian
Posted: Mon - December
19, 2005 at 05:30 PM
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Published On: Dec 26, 2005 07:02 PM
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